Tag: Social Justice

SHOCKING: Troll Proves Comedian’s Point

On June 1, 2016

Last week I posted a blog post about ideas regarding hate and violence I had been sitting on for some time. It was met with a mostly positive reactions, which made me very happy as this was a very difficult post to write and I wanted to do it in the most appropriate ways possible. However, there was one person that got caught up in some joke wording that really steered him away from the main idea of the post, which you can read here.

We have an early morning argument that I have been describing as the internet equivalent to talking quietly to someone who is yelling at you. I screenshot what ensued for your entertainment before I did delete the very annoying cyclical argument and I will break it down now.

Strong StartThe most interesting part of this is that I made a joke in the first three lines of the blog about how white women are stereotyped to hate minorities and run charities. That got nothing. We can see here from the get go that this is never going to “go my way” because he refers to me in the third person while posting directly to my page and then calls her a cunt. You guys are smart, so you see me calmly and eloquently call him a stupid, small-minded, self-hating, misogynist. He does not notice that. Let’s continue.

Projected Insecurities

I think the disregard for any oppression is just as hindering as blatant projections of discrimination. I try to keep it light and reiterate that he is missing the meaning of the blog by focusing on really just the fact that I am white. However, I can’t actually control myself and I’ll translate my underlying sass. When I said “my post got crossed up with your daily search to dethrone white guilt” I meant “I consider you a white men’s rights activist who is so caught up in your own privilege that you spend time at your mom’s house just looking to troll anyone who is not paying attention to white people exclusively.”

I actually prefer “people Bing” but I trust either just the same. The reason I don’t really get inflamed during this whole thing is that nothing he said ever really upset me -except the cunt word. Nothing else he says is more important than what the actual post was about. Also, saying someone is a descendant of Africa is as specific as calling someone white. Africa is a continent where most black people are from, white people also mostly come from one continent.

Getting Mixed InQuickly noting that aside from hateful slurs “scripts I’ve penned” is one of the grossest phrases in this language. Part of his first comment is cut off but you are clearly not missing anything that I felt was worth addressing.

I think it becomes very clear here that he has grouped me into all the other arguments he has had about this certain topic. Which probably progressed similarly because he is still holding onto a lot of frustration about it. I do not like words like tolerance or equality and therefore did not use them in my post. I did use love, my bad. Now, equity is the most important word here because he does not understand it. Because he did not personally oppress (he thinks) anyone then he shouldn’t have to help them now more than he has to help himself. He also needs to be credited for treating people in a way that he is JUST SUPPOSED TO. My dismissive joke about the make my brother’s race conjured up his fear that someone might forget about white people if we don’t reiterate we are not all evil. That constant compensation alone is the the sure sign of a Napoleon Complex. Equity is what is fair, equality changes language and leaves it at that. Here is my favorite illustration to show the difference: The argument continues as some other supporters get involved. Notice again it becomes obvious the dude is not smart enough to get any humor at all. As I stated earlier that I was a cunt because of the need to protect myself from dudes like him, he took that as me telling him it was okay to use that word. Actually it was deflecting and then saying that “people like him” that use hate speech like that make me defensive.

I ended it because it was becoming cyclical and really pulling away from the positive direction everyone else was taking it. So I deleted them and put them here. I do want to thank everyone that shared, liked and commented about it. Especially, to those who sent me personal messages and e-mail that were all super nice. It made me worry even less about this dude.

We talk about it a little bit more on this week’s episode of the HugLife Podcast which you can check out here or on iTunes/Stitcher.

Now imagine me leaving my first internet fight, like this:

Our Team

By Monica Nevi

On May 26, 2016

In Blog Entry

It is known about me that I don’t usually show extreme emotions but there is one thing that is fail proof to make me cry liquid drops of anger and that is blatant acts of hate. Not even just towards me, I’m a white woman so upon first glance people may assume I fear brown skin and run a charity for cancer. Not true but I do donate. This post has taken me numerous days to write and rewrite because of many extreme emotions. The following is lacking humor and prompted by a horrific story of the actions of some high school football players in Idaho. This story left me in tears and in emotional shambles over the last few days. These are things I have been meaning to say for a long time. This is for EVERYONE to read, people who agree with me, people who are on the fence and especially people who disagree with this.

You Don’t Need a Reason

Why do social justice issues make me more frustrated than anything else in the world? Some people chalk it up to my background. Sure, I grew up as a white girl who liked to play sports and hang out with the boys and those boys happened to be a mixture of different races than myself. I have a diverse family and come from a diverse area that allowed me to build relationships with people from all different races, religions, family dynamics, peers and authority figures alike. So much so that it became impossible to use uncontrollable differences as a reason to dislike someone because then I would be left with no friends. Yes, I played a sport that allowed me to meet and build life-long friendships with all different kinds of women and men also interested or in love with basketball. Then for 7 years I worked with kids of every different backgrounds in different areas of the Northwest. I assure you those are NOT the reasons I don’t hate people.

I once mentioned to a peer-who was white-that I had started doing jokes about my brother on stage. For those who are unaware, I have an older half-brother who is mixed race, half African-American and half whatever mixture of white I get from my mother. She responded to the announcement of my new material about my brother with “oh good, that will explain to the audience why you are the way you are.” I’m not sure I have ever been so angry and confused in my life. Here is a hot tip: you don’t need a reason not to be racist. You don’t have to explain why you aren’t full of hate. You don’t need to justify why you are not a piece of shit. Feel free to be a good accepting person without a back story of why. You can just do that. It’s allowed and welcomed. If you stand up for an injustice, it doesn’t have to be because you know someone who that could happen to. You can just support justice. I don’t know your struggle and you don’t know mine, but you can still empathize with the possession of a struggle. I don’t know what it is like to be a gay man, black woman or someone who was born in the wrong body but I can see how that would be difficult and I can acknowledge you and your pain. I can offer to help or just treat you like a human being. I don’t have to be bleeding to give someone a bandage from the box I keep in my backpack.

Fear

I understand the fear of something different and something new, but pushing past those fears are the only way to expand your life or find success in any way. No one asks you why you would try sushi if your parents didn’t make sushi at home, but that can still be your favorite food. No one asks what happened in your childhood if you decide you want to go sky diving for the first time, just strap up. You don’t need to tell the gate attendant “it’s okay, because my cousin is gay” when you board your first airplane ride ever. You should apply for the job you are qualified for regardless of how many people “like you” are or aren’t in that industry. You can be afraid and still do things you should be doing. You don’t have to have an excuse for those things and it is no different with people! Why do I cry every time I read about a woman getting murdered walking home from work or high school kids threatening or attacking the few minority students that go to their school? Well I don’t have to explain that either, but it hurts me down to my core because I feel for other human beings.

Our Team

Why are people so hateful? How can someone hate something so much that it projects onto a person who had nothing to do with them in the first place? You may not understand or think I need some excuse for why my life has always been based on the inclusion of every type of person, but I too need some clarification. How can someone hate anything so much, let alone solely based on their outward differences that would lead them as far as physically harming or even killing someone? It keeps me awake at night. I worry about my friends’ children and how they are going to be treated throughout their lives. I worry about the people in my life and how others are treating them. In every horrific news report I read I see someone I love in those headlines and it’s painfully scary. I see myself in the stories and feel so deeply for the victims and their families. It makes me so sick to my stomach, I can’t talk about it without crying, which really adds some time on writing something when it is through tears.

I don’t need to tell you how many friends of different races or religions or orientations I have so I can prove to have some perspective because they are just my friends. They’re not a fucking category. I’m more than blessed to have so many people in my life that have shown me so many different, beautiful things about the world. That invited me and my family to their homes, took me to their churches with them, took me out to their favorite bars knowing perfectly well I was different. Just because someone else has not been blessed with diversity that I have doesn’t mean that should turn into hate. I am embarrassed and ashamed and I honestly pity those who let such a trivial and rooted hatred compel them enough to act on it outwardly. Hate is a waste of time and energy.

I struggle constantly with how institutionalized and structural most of our social barriers are, let alone still having to be consumed by the hatred of individuals. America is an Anglo based country and as much as people think amending the language of the past changes the present, it doesn’t. If you vary at all from a white Anglo male, there is some type of obstacle that is embedded in society for you. Some far bigger than others. However, cis-gendered, white, straight male is the golden ticket. It’s infuriating enough that many white men can deny their privilege, but to then take a step to harm someone because they are so full of hate, keeps me and I’m sure a million other people awake at night. Save your comments about it not being all white dudes, we know. Just being a person of privilege that acknowledges that and doesn’t treat people poorly is not enough. You need to be mad, you need to be on our team, you are the only thing that is going to promote awareness among the privileged that don’t accept it. It bothers me everyday that when people see me they group me in with the insensitive and unaware, but I get it. Why take a chance? That chance could very well hurt you in irreversible ways. We have to do something, we have to be vocal, we have to be a team. Hate and sex crimes HAVE to be reported and convicted, expand your social groups, help people less fortunate than yourselves and stop telling people Monica Nevi doesn’t like it when people use racial slurs because her brother is black. I don’t need a reason. That’s not my reason. I don’t like hate speech because I don’t find comfort in anyone else’s pain.

What’s Next?

I hope in my heart of hearts there are way more people with this mindset than not, but I fear everyday that I am wrong. If you love yourself you can love other people. You can find connection in life with anyone. Which leads me to believe if you hate others you must also hate yourself. We are far more alike than we give ourselves credit for. You have to be vocal. Intervention is the most important step. If you see something happening, stop it. Why would football coaches let a young, disabled, black student get raped in the locker room? Silence is just as dangerous.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” – Dr. Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.

If you have questions I will be on my soap box, flipping through MLK quotes trying to calm my emotions.